Yucaipa Valley Quakin'

As I hit a very good drive on number four, Bert said, "earthquake!". I immediately responded with "nah, that was just a real good hit". The other two guys in our group, Clarence and Vito, said they felt nothing, but it was probably because Clarence was talking so much to Vito that neither of them could notice anything else around them, -even the earth shaking below their feet! My excuse was I was in the middle of my violent-motion swing and that was the truth. I talked to Ralph after the round and he told me Tino felt it, but none of the others noticed anything. He did say he talked to his wife a couple holes later and she asked him if he felt it, since it was centered right there in Yucaipa! So, I guess there really was one, but I still insist on attributing it to my tremendous hit. Ego thing.

Anyway, the round went by without anymore shakes, rattles and rolls. Yes, even the rolls were limited in the fairways, because the grass was way too long there too. Although this course has as nice a layout as any other in the area with the exception of the Beaumont courses, Oak Valley and Morongo 36, the conditions consistently bring it down to muni-level. Too bad, but the $25 weekday rate offsets it well.

Bert shot 86 and I tripled 18 to shoot 79, but Vito and Clarence both forgot how to play golf. These guys usually shoot between 85 and 92, but not on this day. Those numbers were gone by the 16th! Some days are like that, but why when on my team?! The other team of Bill, Tino, Elliott, Ralph and Bob J., all shot between 88 (Elliott) and 91 (Ralph and Bob) and thusly cleaned our clock for $6.75 apiece.

Yes, there were only nine of us this time! This is by far the smallest number of golfers for a Wednesday in almost ten years! -And it was kinda nice! Not that we didn't miss the other guys, but things were just a whole lot easier, -kinda like having a week off. I'll take it!

Next week we're playing the (in)famous Nicklaus design in Corona, the Champions Club at the Retreat, and I can hardly wait, even though there are a few of the others that are a little nervous. It boasts a 139 slope from the blues at only 6277 yards(?), hmmm.

It Was Frickin' Hot!

Played at The Golf Club at Glen Ivy in Corona this week and we basically boiled. Don't get me wrong, we still had a lot of fun, but those last few holes were f'ing tough! Immediately after our round ended, Vito and I drowned ourselves with cold water in the restroom so as to bring our body temperature to sub-100°. Other than the heat, the course was in good shape with only the greens being fairly spotty and the bermuda fairways starting to go dormant. One thing for sure though, this course has the best bunkers anywhere. Beautiful sand.

After I shot a dumb-ass 40 on the first nine holes with some terrible second shots and three missed four-footers, I settled into a very good rhythm of pars for the first seven holes on the back. That's when I decided to duck-hook my drive into the vegetation just off the fairway on eight. (We played the back nine first.) I then topped a whopping 80-yard drive for my provisional. After hitting a great fourth from the heavy rough in front of the tee box, Vito and I went over to the tree line that sucked up my first shot so we could hopefully retrieve my somewhat new Bridgestone. At first we didn't have any luck, but that turned right away when Vito started loading up on some beautiful Haas avocados from a very healthy tree! I immediately forgot about the ball hunt, but then Vito said, "T, here's your ball!". -And it was in bounds!! I punched out to just short of the green and almost saved par, but was quite happy with bogie, considering what it could/should have been. Mmmm, avocados are soooo good! I limped in with an ugly 4 on the last hole to shoot 78 and was rewarded by my other playing partner, Dave, with a big juicy Blue Moon in the bar. Fucking awesome, let me tell you!

The last group crawled in over an hour later. (We had fourteen players, so we went out 3, 3, 4, & 4. The first two groups finished in 3-1/2 hours, but there was a big gap to the last two foursomes, who weren't being pushed at all, -probably because there wasn't anyone else dumb enough to play in hell's kitchen that day.) We finished second and netted a cool four bucks apiece, which coincidentally, was the exact same amount the first place team of Bert, Bill, Joe and Old Bob did. Since we were a threesome, the shares were significantly bigger. Yeah for us.

George, Ralph, Clarence and Tim smoothed in for third and lost a few dollars while Elliott, Tino and Jon sucked and lost almost $7 each. Funny how this game is, everyone had resigned to the fact that Elliott's team was favored that day, yet it just didn't happen. Bummer.

The only other good note from this week's excursion was the grapefruits we all got from the trees just off #7's fairway. One can never starve when playing Glen Ivy, but you sure can die from dehydration.